Empathy is « the intuitive ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes and feel what they feel ». It is about embracing a general understanding of the feeling and emotions of another person.

Whether it is in your love life or your work life, empathy is a key skill that allows you to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand them better. Consequently, this skill can be used to improve group dynamics, create better cohesion and more easily resolve the problems that someone may be experiencing.

Empathy seems to be on the decline, over the years and with each new generation. According to a 2010 study by the University of Michigan, empathy among men and women today has dropped by almost half compared to the generation of our parents and grandparents.

The good news is that empathy can grow – so, how is this done?

• Be curious

Being empathetic means taking a genuine – not superficial – interest in others. Ask questions to the people you know and ask them about their feelings, without necessarily trying to resolve all their problems. Show that you are sincere and want to understand them.

• Listen actively

Asking questions is fine. Actively listening to the answers is even better. Use your ears, but also your eyes to fully understand what the person is feeling and thinking. Your listening must be active and kind. Be attentive and present.

• Pay attention to the non-verbal communication

93% of a person’s communication is non-verbal. It is by paying attention to the hand movements of the other person, the tone and pace of their voice, their body language and their facial expressions that you will be able to interpret what they are really thinking or feeling, and what they find difficult to express in words.

• Be open-minded and not judgemental

Empathy is also about avoiding any judgement or prejudice. You are not there to validate or condemn the actions of the person, simply to understand why he or she reacted in such and such a way.

You must therefore put aside your personal frames of reference and resist the temptation to judge, comment or reveal your own emotions. Not being judgemental also means keeping quiet about the advice you would like to give, e.g. « Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would do this or that ». Naturally, this doesn’t apply if the other person specifically asks you for your advice.

• Learn to recognise emotions

Whether you are in your own surroundings or not, the ability to recognise emotions, the types of reactions they arouse, and the problems or unfulfilled needs that trigger them helps to understand the reactions and attitudes of other people. After listening to a person, think of a similar situation that you have experienced. Think about what you felt at that time